Thoughts on an Alumni Meet

I must confess to a vague inexplicable reluctance to participate in Alumni Meets . One amongst the numerous reasons may be the inability to face the reality of not being able to recognize faces and incidents from the past. For me, the entire 5 years at BITS Pilani back in the sixties has truly blanked out, for I do not recollect a single event, let alone friends. A strong case for a rapidly declining memory (an impending Alzh?), may be made.

Even if the good Lord had retained my memory traits, I doubt whether I would be still excited by a Meet- and that is the issue that I intend to grapple with in this blog. I find comfort in the label of an introvert. However, is this failing? Am I missing something in the passage through earth?

 More to the point- am I really an introvert? Or is there a deeper reason for shying away from such events?.

 At one level , I recognize the relevance and indeed inevitability, of “society” and “culture” impacting the quality of life. I would be miserable if I shunned society and culture and indeed I do participate in gatherings necessitated by norms of good behaviour- attend a marriage, be present in a ritual, stand up for the National Anthem for instance. I find the recluse of Swamis in the Himalayas fascinating, but find little to commend it by way of a living.

A fair number of us assembled in Pilani last weekend, on a trip generously funded by a colleague celebrating his 65^th birthday. This one was a double event. The year happened to be the 50^th since we set foot on the portals of BITS. Besides getting our Alumni Association recognized in the Limca Book of Records (for the largest association of its kind in the country), this gentleman has spent considerable sums of money on keeping the flock together over the years. Whether the costs are significant from his wealth perspective is irrelevant- he has truly gone beyond the call of duty. The Meetings have been held over the years starting from once in 4 years to almost yearly as we desperately try to beat old age.

Two evenings were spent sitting through song and dance a hot day in between in visiting the old “addas” in the College.  A few hours into the Meet realization dawned that there were a fair number like me  with fading memory and I was considerably more at ease ( though not completely out of the woods) when name stickers were distributed. The mutual hugging became more effusive as at least I was able to place a name to an unknown face.

The question that I am trying to find an answer to is the relevance of the Meet. How important has BITS (and , therefore the Association)  been, in shaping my life over the years? The short answer is very little. Except for these periodic Meets I have hardly kept even a modicum of correspondence with any of the Alumni.

If not colleagues, has the Institute in any way been responsible for my present situation in life- good or bad? I recollect the thought provoking commencement speech of Steve Jobs to the graduating class at Stanford University, when he highlighted how each significant event in our past is a “dot” to be connected to find the relevance of our present. BITS Pilani is certainly a dot, but one amongst the many dots – not THE Dot.

If I were to start acknowledging every dot in my past 66 years (School passing, the management Institute , my first job ,marriage, children, my second job etc) there is hardly any time left to live in the present! Do these Meets serve to rejuvenate mentally, ridding oneself of the nagging doubts on the relevance of life and similar questions that arise as one ages?  Truth to tell I seem to have had no such luck. I stopped attending the IIM Meets many years ago, and have no contacts with colleagues in my previous jobs. So why this affinity to BITS?

This time around it was the better half that was insistent. Whether a hidden agenda to get some shopping done in Delhi en route is the motivation I cannot tell. Jaya made friends with wives of a few Alumni. They got along gloriously sharing their years of woe with their spouses. I muddled through the two days making the appropriate and right noises. I realised in long chats with someone whom I had no contacts over the past 50 years, that we share the same concerns on the future. How does that help ?

I find more comfort in Osho and his brilliant exposition on living for the “present”. Ekhart Tolle is another writer whose thinking I support- his book “The Power of Now” impressed me, with its simplicity and seminal approach to life.  Guided by these two writers I hope henceforth I shall be able to avoid these forays into the past and stick to the present. What better present than meeting an old friend and sharing views on how to live in the now, not reminiscence on the past.  

11SEP14

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