I sat back after reading the fascinating obit of Jacques Verges ( in the Economist) and thought.. What a fascinating Life ..!
Fascinating ..? the inner voice quickly responded . What is fascinating about a life spent in defending criminals of the worst sort, almost killed by State Police , disappearing from the world scene for 8 long years?
But then what is fascinating of a life spent in relative mediocrity, safe schooling safe education , steady job , doing everything proper and recognized in society. Living through each day as it comes , planning , failing, planning again and failing again and so on..
Or what is fascinating of the life of the sage of Arunachala ( from where I am writing this blog), who at the age of 16 experienced a vision and thereafter dropped all regular living to take the life of a mendicant for over 50 years in one place on the foothills of the Arunachala Hills?
I think I need to change the question. Why should life be fascinating? Fascinating in whose perspective ? Can there be a universally accepted view of fascination? Ramana Maharishi dropped all physical activity , denied all family, lived off begging in his earlier years till fame found his frail almost naked body living day to day mostly in silence and spread his message.
What am I searching spending time in Ashrams like these? Was I destined for this ? Or could I have had a different life?
Reflect on the Sages words:
"The Ordainer controls the fate of souls in accordance with their prarabdhakarma*. Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try as you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to prevent it. This is certain. The best course, therefore, is to remain silent."
* destiny to be worked out in current life.
So am I not responsible for my actions? Yes... the age old question once more. Is this the "fatalistic" version of Hinduism commented upon by philosophers right ? Was I destined to visit the Ashram in this my 65th year?
I understand Maharishis words differently. This statement is no denial of "living" life on earth. This no endorsement for an aimless purposeless living, but an exhortation to stop getting tensed on the results or outcome of actions. Silence would in fact bring out more creative energies which can only affect the actions positively.
And so, rather than wandering all over trying to find answers to a fascinating purposeful life , I shall follow the Sages words and "silently" observe the world always reflecting on his one point message -"Who am I"? That quest within would prevent me wasting time and feelings on assessments and views on others' lives, and help in the process to find the peace within , which I am seeking .
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