The question is as old as the Hills is'nt it ? Countless are the books , talks , dialogues and discussions that I have been privy to, on this topic. Yet, when you popped the question out of the blue, my response was vague and, plainly unsatisfactory.
So throwing aside the "gyan" accumulated over the years, avoiding the tendency to "Google" for the answer, here is another attempt to respond from the heart.
Happiness by its very existence as a word , indicates the existence of another state -of "Other than happiness" . It is only because there is a state where one "feels" unhappy, that there is this urge to seek a different state- a "happy" state. Since the dialogue and quest for happiness continues to this day , one can surmise (at least till today) that a solution to stay forever happy has not been found. Mankind moves in and out of the two states- some longer in one state and some longer in the other.
Another given- the quest and the nature of happiness varies with age. The happiness of a gurgling one year old playing with her mother, of a 17 year old looking into his beloveds eyes, of a 27 year old celebrating her promotion, of a 37 year old watching his daughter perform on the School stage, of a 47 year old watching the wedding of her daughter, of a 57 year old playing with his granddaughter , of a 67 year old listening to a discourse from the Guru of the year , of a 77 year old gazing at a sunset hunched on a chair , walking stick in hand -all vary in context and extent.
And ... (you retort) in duration...! And you have also forgotten the moments of unhappiness, the moments of pain and suffering....
And so I conclude happiness is temporal and the answer to the question lies in an overarching definition , covering all the above situations PLUS a way to increase its duration. Can I find an all encompassing definition and also ways and means of increasing the frequency of these moments of happiness, thereby minimizing the duration of unhappiness?
A question arises in my mind right now.Can every waking moment of a person , be classified as being either (1) happy or (2) unhappy? Or are there three states (1) happy , (2) unhappy and (3) living. The difference between the third state and the other two is that when one is in the "living" state, there is no realization in that person as to whether he is happy or unhappy. Over the past 30 minutes as I was writing this piece, though it dealt with the topic of happiness , I did not experience any (1) happiness or (2) unhappiness. Truly.
(28MAR13 continued after a break of a month!)
Eckhart Tolle ( my age!) a German born Canadian resident wrote a highly readable book called the "Power of Now" . It made quite a buzz when it is was first published and I too was taken up by the simplicity of his thesis and the sincerity of approach. Eckhart talks of only one significant moment in a persons life-the present. The past cannot be revisited , the future is not in our hands. What we do now , this instant, is what counts. The present could very well be wasted musing on the past moments , or even conjecturing about the uncertainties of the future. Both the states will result in feelings of happiness or unhappiness. But ignoring the fear of the future or the regrets of the past , if one were to "act" in the present , then there are no "feelings" , there is only the phenomenon of "living".
A few minutes prior to my accessing this blog, I was wandering round the house aimlessly "feeling" bored and "out of sorts". I recollected this partial blog. I got myself to open in , pulled myself out from the study , into the veranda amongst the greenery, and within minutes the mood has changed- for the better.Right now I am grappling with the text -neither happy nor unhappy , but focused.
Yes -Focused that's the word. That has the answer to the question. Happiness is a state of mind - like unhappiness- that one encounters when one is not focused. As I watched my Mothers inert body, dead to all of us, the emotion that swept through my body was the regret of the past , the sudden recognition of the sins I had committed in not looking after her and meeting her simple wants. The emotions that you feel when you see your daughter up on stage, listening to the applause of the audience as she receives her prize , is happiness based on your expectations from the past, for had she always topped, your emotions would be different.
SO now that we know that these "feelings" are created, there is every possibility of destroying them as well. Instead of feelings based on the past or the future, can one live in the present with equanimity , with poise and a belief in the self. That belief is that I an solely responsible for these feelings and I can determine its impact on me. I can let it overwhelm me or I can control its negativism at will.
