From amongst the unfortunate few who early on in life get hooked onto the question of existence etc. a few fortunate ones find their questions answered - either by modern day Gurus or by an unshakeable faith on scriptures and philosophies of the past. A vast majority of the seekers ( like me) pass life without an answer- not with any deep regret , for inevitably the quest for answers was half hearted.
Doubtless, each mans' search is unique and so is the solution. Trying to use logic to choose from the prevalent beliefs is futile and in a sense a wrong way of approaching the quest. The genes in me gives me a natural inclination and a comfort with the Visishtadvaita doctine and I do not (oddly) question the rituals of the Matham of my ancestors ( The Ahobila Matham). Yet, I must admit that the western convent educated , urban ecosystem that I was brought up in is still a hurdle in crossing over the divide from questioning to blind faith.
The first time that I seriously considered the Sage Of Arunachala , was when my sister (at the time of the premature , sudden tragic death of her husband) mentioned that Rajappa would annually visit Tiruvannamalai and spend a few days at Ramanas Ashram. I re-read Paul Bruntons account of his experience with and of the Maharishi ( who passed away in 1950), and thereafter I made my first visit to the Ashram decades ago.
Experience related to matters divine is a highly personal affair. No amount of oratory or passionate outpourings can infuence others. If it were so , then there would not be so many different Ashrams and newer ones coming up ever so often! Neither is it the intention to share my experience. Suffice it to say, that for me, when I first stepped into this tiny Ashram , I felt a sudden relaxation of the muscles and a sense of lightness.
What I would like to highlight , is the utter simplicity of the Sages philosophy- a simple quest, for what the Sage put in Tamil as - the answer to the question "Naan Yaar" ( who am I?). The Sage lived by example and there a number of commentaries by some of his ardent devotees who were fortunate to speak to him. Yet commenataries are so out of place , for the Sage was insistent that the quest in entirely personal and no one can be of any assictyance!
18JUL23 at Tiruvannamalai
